Please join LASC in a “celebration of life” for seven distilleries now passed on to the big warehouse in the sky. Many expressions are off the market entirely and some are rarities that are skyrocketing in value and nearly impossible to find.
At the South Pasadena Cemetery of Scotch we will eulogize each whisky with its history and cause of death. Please wear dark colors to solemnize the occasion. A typical funeral reception buffet will be available with sandwiches and appetizers. Kleenex and glassware will be provided. We are sorry for your loss.
The Deceased
Rosebank 21yr
North Port 1982 Glenhaven 14yr
Caperdonich 1996 Provenance 12yr
Littlemill 12yr
Dallas Dhu 1981 Provenance 1981 19yr
Pittyvaich Flora and Fauna 12yr
Brora 1983 Silent Stills 18yr
Darkness falls upon the land
One by one the stills go dead
Each murdered by a corporate hand
So vodka could be poured instead
They slew the ancient and the young
And let their corpses rot in mud
Yet now you wait with thirsty tongue
To taste their final golden blood
You start to feel a numbing chill
The thrill of what you shall consume
The spawn of seven hallowed stills
Await in seven glassy tombs
Yet as the spirit meets its end
Your Glencairn starts to quiver
For few mere mortals dare to send
The Undead to their liver
